Being a Stay At Home Mum
My partner and I recently decided that (for now at least) I will not be going back to work but will be a stay at home mum (SAHM). My partner is a chef so works long hours including weekends and evenings which means I have a lot of time alone with Isaac. This post is all about what I get up to all day as a SAHM.
Look after baby!
Surprise, surprise, right. I let Isaac set his own routine so that means feeding on demand and letting him nap when he wants too and for as long as he wants. This works for us especially while he's still under 1 because it gives us the freedom to go out when we want and do different things every day. This means I can't give you a play by play of an average day because there isn't one... but these are the things I do to look after Isaac every day: nappies, changing clothes, feeding (milk and food), playing, talking to etc :)
Playing with baby
We're lucky to have lots of toys Isaac can play with (see my previous post about our favourite baby toys) but he also loves playing with things that aren't toys - tapping pans and tables, playing with fabrics and coloured things we find around the house. We make our own games (I set his toys in jelly to play with, I've made him a quiet book for the future, splash in the bath, watch bubbles) - I have a board on pinterest here of play ideas that look fun. We also sing songs, blow raspberries and other things that need no materials or money!
We read books, and visit the library every week to get new board books to read (and chew...).
Going out
I'm the kind of person who needs to leave the house every day or I lose my mind! (This made my three day labour induction even less fun...) Isaac and I like to go for walks in nature and have scouted out all of the parks and woodlands nearby and their playgrounds! This is a great free day out (especially if you take a picnic) and Isaac likes having a look around from his pram. I'm looking forward to the future and being able to talk to Isaac about the changing seasons and the other things we see. However... it's currently Winter so this is a much less appealing option right now!
Find the free things in your local area - we go to rhyme time at the library every week for a sing song and our local sure start centre also has messy play sessions I'd like to give a go eventually. Our local theatre has a baby sensory play area with free entry that wel ike to visit too. Lots of things are also free for under 1s, like swimming and some soft play centres. This said, babies are easily entertained and you don't have to pull out all the stops every day!
Social life
So this is one of the big things about being a SAHM that people worry about because it's a big change from being in a busy workplace surrounded by adults to being just you and baby all day. Some days are lonely, but most of the time it's not. I am lucky enough to have people in my life that I can give a ring or drop in on for a chat, and when you bring a cute little guy with you nobody seems to mind! Being in this situation has also made me more confident about talking to strangers when I'm out and about - having a conversation with the people on the checkouts in the supermarket, other shoppers etc. I also feel like having a baby with you makes you more approachable - people will ask me how old he is, tell me he's cute or that they like his outfit. This, and the kind of conversations you have at mum groups, is basically all small talk, so the real social life happens elsewhere!
All the commitments I had when I was pregnant, I still have (apart from work!). I'm a brownie leader with girlguiding and have recently also begun helping my local rainbow unit as they needed more leaders. This makes me feel useful and gives me things to prepare and think about, as well as the adult conversation. It keeps my skills up because it relates to my career. Isaac comes everywhere with me so this is another experience for him (letting him get used to the noise and social experience of being surrounded by brownies and rainbows, be held by different leaders and seeing his mum take on different roles than he usually sees), as well as a learning experience for the girls, who may not have babies in their families to see being brought up. I even still teach archery with girlguiding and hope Isaac will be able to get involved with this as he grows up. I also attend a card making group and a writers group where I can talk to like minded people, see old friends, and do some of my existing hobbies.
Finally, embrace social media :) Join mum groups, join groups for your hobbies and be brave! I've met new friends and reconnected with people I haven't spoke to in a while; don't be afraid to make the first move because they might be sat at home hoping for someone to talk to too.
Still part of society!
This is the part that bugged me the most when I was writing about attachment parenting. Just because I'm not at work doesnt mean I don't have rights! I still vote, still pay taxes when I buy things, still access local services and banking and I still have an opinion! I can still take part in protests and I still volunteer with girlguiding - I still have skills to use! I'm also still in my working union as I expect to eventually return to work.
Housework
I try to keep on top of the housework as much as I can so that my partner doesn't have to come home from work to a mess. I do laundry, washing up and cleaning the highchair at least once a day! But the rest of the work is not a priority, it gets done when it gets done and I don't stress about it :)
Look after baby!
Surprise, surprise, right. I let Isaac set his own routine so that means feeding on demand and letting him nap when he wants too and for as long as he wants. This works for us especially while he's still under 1 because it gives us the freedom to go out when we want and do different things every day. This means I can't give you a play by play of an average day because there isn't one... but these are the things I do to look after Isaac every day: nappies, changing clothes, feeding (milk and food), playing, talking to etc :)
Playing with baby
We're lucky to have lots of toys Isaac can play with (see my previous post about our favourite baby toys) but he also loves playing with things that aren't toys - tapping pans and tables, playing with fabrics and coloured things we find around the house. We make our own games (I set his toys in jelly to play with, I've made him a quiet book for the future, splash in the bath, watch bubbles) - I have a board on pinterest here of play ideas that look fun. We also sing songs, blow raspberries and other things that need no materials or money!
We read books, and visit the library every week to get new board books to read (and chew...).
Going out
I'm the kind of person who needs to leave the house every day or I lose my mind! (This made my three day labour induction even less fun...) Isaac and I like to go for walks in nature and have scouted out all of the parks and woodlands nearby and their playgrounds! This is a great free day out (especially if you take a picnic) and Isaac likes having a look around from his pram. I'm looking forward to the future and being able to talk to Isaac about the changing seasons and the other things we see. However... it's currently Winter so this is a much less appealing option right now!
Find the free things in your local area - we go to rhyme time at the library every week for a sing song and our local sure start centre also has messy play sessions I'd like to give a go eventually. Our local theatre has a baby sensory play area with free entry that wel ike to visit too. Lots of things are also free for under 1s, like swimming and some soft play centres. This said, babies are easily entertained and you don't have to pull out all the stops every day!
Social life
So this is one of the big things about being a SAHM that people worry about because it's a big change from being in a busy workplace surrounded by adults to being just you and baby all day. Some days are lonely, but most of the time it's not. I am lucky enough to have people in my life that I can give a ring or drop in on for a chat, and when you bring a cute little guy with you nobody seems to mind! Being in this situation has also made me more confident about talking to strangers when I'm out and about - having a conversation with the people on the checkouts in the supermarket, other shoppers etc. I also feel like having a baby with you makes you more approachable - people will ask me how old he is, tell me he's cute or that they like his outfit. This, and the kind of conversations you have at mum groups, is basically all small talk, so the real social life happens elsewhere!
All the commitments I had when I was pregnant, I still have (apart from work!). I'm a brownie leader with girlguiding and have recently also begun helping my local rainbow unit as they needed more leaders. This makes me feel useful and gives me things to prepare and think about, as well as the adult conversation. It keeps my skills up because it relates to my career. Isaac comes everywhere with me so this is another experience for him (letting him get used to the noise and social experience of being surrounded by brownies and rainbows, be held by different leaders and seeing his mum take on different roles than he usually sees), as well as a learning experience for the girls, who may not have babies in their families to see being brought up. I even still teach archery with girlguiding and hope Isaac will be able to get involved with this as he grows up. I also attend a card making group and a writers group where I can talk to like minded people, see old friends, and do some of my existing hobbies.
Finally, embrace social media :) Join mum groups, join groups for your hobbies and be brave! I've met new friends and reconnected with people I haven't spoke to in a while; don't be afraid to make the first move because they might be sat at home hoping for someone to talk to too.
Still part of society!
This is the part that bugged me the most when I was writing about attachment parenting. Just because I'm not at work doesnt mean I don't have rights! I still vote, still pay taxes when I buy things, still access local services and banking and I still have an opinion! I can still take part in protests and I still volunteer with girlguiding - I still have skills to use! I'm also still in my working union as I expect to eventually return to work.
Housework
I try to keep on top of the housework as much as I can so that my partner doesn't have to come home from work to a mess. I do laundry, washing up and cleaning the highchair at least once a day! But the rest of the work is not a priority, it gets done when it gets done and I don't stress about it :)
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